The Official Home Page of the International Weasel Information Society (IWIS)
Good evening, my fellow Weasel enthusiasts, and welcome to Weasel Central!
Here, before your eyes is the premier page devoted to Weasels! (Although I think it only fair to note that if you're looking for information on ferrets, you'll probably find it on Ferret Central. We don't need your kind around here anyway.) But perhaps a few explanations are in order, so I'll open up the floor to questions.
Q: Just what kind of information is on Weasel Central?
A: Well, very little, to be honest. To be more honest, none. This
page is utterly devoid of useful content. (Although there is plenty of
useless content...)
Q: Exactly what is the International Weasel Information Society
(IWIS)?
A: A non-existent organization dedicated to ending the irrational
hatred of weasels that has dominated Western culture. Weasel
Central is the IWIS's first attempt at maintaining an Internet
presence. You can also find us at the fictitious newsgroup
soc.culture.weasel.prejudice
Q: Who runs this page?
A: I'm Mike
Kozlowski, which almost certainly means nothing to you.
Q: How has the world reacted to this page?
A: With great enthusiasm. Roger Ebert called this page "A daring
triumph of the human spirit!" Well, not really. But I did get this cool e-mail.
Q: Are you insane, or what?
A: That depends on your definition of insane. If by "insane," you
mean "Dedicating one's life to the service of weasels for no apparent
reason," then yes, I am insane.
Q: Why are weasels so cool?
A: See the following table comparing the weasel to common
household pets:
| Weasel | Cat | Dog | Cockroach | |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Cute and Cuddly | Yes | Yes | No | No |
| Deadly | Yes | No | Yes | No |
| Sly and Crafty | Yes | No | Definitely Not | No |
| Rhymes with 'Easel' | Yes | No | No | No |
| Able to Leap Tall Buildings in a Single Bound | Yes | No | No | Yes |
Q: You know, this page is pretty pathetic.
A: That's not a question!
I'm currently in the midst of writing fables and stories featuring weasels, so this list should expand over the coming weeks and months. Actually, that's a blatant lie. I have absolutely no intention whatsoever of ever updating this page. None. But please feel free to check it out every other day regardless. Also, feel free to send me large quantities of cash.